on wit's edge

My relationship with my current painting is in turmoil. I need to break away from it for a minute or two. It's just not.... working out. It's not the painting, it's me. I'm realizing that I'm simply not currently great at backgrounds. The same thing happened with the paining of my brother this fall. As soon as I let go of trying to have a background; voila, fell together with ease.

To clear the frustration and hesitation I felt a deep need to paint something else, and it came with great ease. From cutting and stretching the canvas to hanging it on the wall it took 2 1/2 hours. The process of this painting felt amazing....

This is a different sort of posture, and emotional one. It represents how this painting has been making me feel. I'm going to do what I can not to give up on the other painting. I just need to find the key to understanding what I'm missing.

This is where it currently stands....

The reasons I why I'm determined to find the right path with this painting....

Anyone have any notions or advise on what I'm missing?

breathing through it

I've been working on this painting for some time now. I believe this is the longest I have ever actively worked on a painting (outside of the time I put in thinking about them). I noticed this week that I hadn't worked on it and reflected on why. I concluded I had become too attached to the outcome.

This is how it has sat this week.....

It took me a great deal of time to get the floor accurate, the bend in time and space I was looking for. I fidgeted over it for a couple weeks. And though I like the depiction of the bend in time, I've been uncomfortable with the perspective of it....  and the technique I used to paint it, just not me.... so today I took a deep breath and let go and made this adjustment....

My heart is more comfortable with this.

It may not look like much, but I assure you it is, just the process of letting go of the attachment has opened up the painting....

There seems to be more stability in the posture of the body in the previous, but I think that's what makes the slight change somewhat exhilarating for me.... I need to help her (me) find that stability again. 

I have an idea for the remainder of the background; have yet to figure out how to execute it though. This painting has been a process indeed. As much as it has made my stomach spin and brain twist, I'm enjoying the ride.

Mental Floss

I can finally see what I would like the background to be in my latest painting, but I'm having a difficult time translating it to the canvas. Rather than erupt in frustration I decided to deviate for a moment.

I've been wanting to edit, so I decided to take twenty minutes and I shot some footage around my apartment and cut it together. It always a surprise to me that a story unfolds when I do these....

Okay, back to trying to portray waves in space and time.....

returning to color

I worked on my newest painting a little bit this week. I went to the Boston MFA to see their Degas exhibit over the weekend and well, inspiration isn't the word for what I took away from it, affirmation is more appropriate. I noticed that in most of his work, there was a focal point which he focused on greatly, with great detail and then everything else appeared much looser, almost as if he simply felt obligated to paint the rest of it. I often find myself doing something very similar. I took this attitude with me as I sat with this recent canvas.... 

 I don't think there is any debate that the foot is the focal point... then the hands look more like chicken paws. I have a lot of attention to give what I have already worked on, but I'm very happy with it thus far. I'm a little hesitant to move forward in fear of not being as content with it.

At this point I'm wondering what to do for a background. I have a plethora of thoughts floating around but nothing is sticking and forming into an idea.

Also, if you look between the arm and leg, where the chest ends, there appears to be an image of a face in the canvas. The only thing I've done there is put some white over stray sketch marks. I definately see my face in it though. I'm wondering if I should add my face.....

my Degas approach

For years I have looked at Impressionist art with disinterest. After visiting the Barnes Foundation last spring something shifted. Though I still haven't felt any sort of awe when looking at a Renoir or general still-lives, an intrigues has risen. Primarily in their execution of skin tone, especially Degas.

The project that I have been idling towards fuses my love for art history with my paintings. I intend to study the style and techniques of artists then apply the theory to my own approach. I've decided to start with a self-portrait with the hope that I won't get too hung up on accuracy on the initial embark into the project. For this portrait I have chosen Degas.

Degas is famous for his paintings of the ballerinas and capturing a fleeting moment. The moment is not captured with quick strokes, everything was studied and methodically executed. As he experimented with techniques he also returned to using mediums that had fallen out of fashion such as pastels. He also experimented with how to frame the subject. All of these nuances interest me and hope that someday someone may say the same about me. It seems like a natural fit.

Rather that dress in a tutu, I have decided to paint myself in a different sort of fleeting moment, a yoga posture. Yoga is a significant part of my life and I have been having a difficult time to balance my yoga studies and my painting. I seem to go through phases of one or the other. In attempt to forge this balance, I shall incorporate yoga into my Degas approach....   here is my initial sketch....

Not what you were expecting is it...

balancing wholeness

It's been over a month since I've released my paintings into the world; my wall looks empty and I admit I miss them. I've been staring at naked frames for quite some time now and I intend to cover them and adorn them, starting today.

I knew there would be a certain amount of lag time in between projects; I believe that is normal. I've noticed that I've been more scattered and thoughtless the past couple weeks. I contribute that to not painting; creating. I've begun studies in other aspects of my life and while finding balance in that practice, I lost it in my creativity. Now. Now I am going to find a balance between my spirituality and creativity; my intellect and my heart. To be continued.....

Age and Vinnie

As suspected, I took my time with this painting, but less in procrastination and more in affection for the subjects. These stunning creatures are very dear to me. There were days that I added only a stroke. It was a very meditative process. And the painting is very simple, which I feel symbolizes the purity of the relationship between a mother and her new born child; within the chaos of midnight feedings and constant diaper changes comes a moment such as is captured in this painting, a moment of pure peace and bliss.

I now begin the journey of beginning my new series of portraits. More on that, soon to come....